A Friday for Confessing

• I confess that I almost didn't bother to write confessions today, but then Lindsey posted some on her blog, saying that she looks forward to mine, and since I started writing them because I consistently look forward to Debra's . . . well. Who am I to deprive the world of part of a long string of joy in honesty? 
• I confess that I am always a little terrified when I leave seminary that I have casually said something that is going to give them a completely wrong impression about everything, and they'll start going around telling everyone that it's true because Sister Long said it in seminary. 
• I confess that it took all week, but I've finally managed to avoid spending multiple hours a day playing Angry Birds and Words With Friends on the iPad. 
• I confess that I hate grocery shopping, and spend much of my life trying to avoid it. I need several things right now, and I am avoiding the store this very moment. 
• I confess that I have been craving other kinds of shopping. I keep looking at things online, sometimes even putting them in my shopping cart, and then telling myself I don't need them. (Also, I have issues with paying shipping, even when things are on sale, and I'm also an incredibly tactile shopper, so not being able to touch things is a deterrent.) I'm hoping to hold out until my parents come to visit next week so I have money to spend on the inevitable trip my mom and I take to the outlets in Mercedes.
• I confess that I often watch Gilmore Girls as it goes up on the WB's website as if I hadn't already seen the entire series multiple times. I confess that I skipped the one where Rory misses Lorelai's graduation to hang out with Jess, because it makes me too upset. I confess that maybe Gilmore Girls is too important to me. 
• I confess that I am already thinking about Christmas, specifically how to make fun stockings for us and what on earth I will get for Eric (who never seems to want anything except the iPad, and he has that now), and what will be easy to send to friends and family in the mail and still be awesome,  and how I will cope with my first Christmas away from my family, and where/how we will celebrate our first anniversary (which is the week before Christmas and also before school gets out, but at least it's on a weekend this year). Whew. No wonder it's spilling out into October. 

October To Do List

My normal October plans are many and varied, including a lovely upcoming visit from my parents, and a potential trip to Houston to visit B and K and do a murder mystery party. However. This post is about the things I want to watch, eat, and read in order to celebrate pumpkin month, especially now that I have both an Ann and a Lindsey hole in my heart where Halloween celebrations ought to be. So here's an initial list, but I encourage recommendations from all corners.

To Eat:

This version of dinner in a pumpkin, recommended to me by my sister-in-law, Katie. Ann made a version of dinner in a pumpkin when I was in Indiana, and it was always delicious. I might make that one too. But I'm excited to try something new. 

image source: melskitchencafe.com

Pumpkin roll. Always pumpkin roll. 

Pumpkin Flan with Spiced Pumpkin Seeds from Epicurious. I might have to work to get this one past the husband, but I think it looks like it could be kind of divine. 

This Autumn Trifle. Holy cow.

Ina Garten's Pumpkin Roll (thanks Matt!)

Pumpkin Pancakes (thanks Lauren!)

Pumpkin Pie White Hot Chocolate (thanks Melissa!) 

To Read:

Spook: Science Tackles the Afterlife by Mary Roach. What could be more fun that Mary Roach and scientists investigating ghosts?

We Have Always Lived in the Castle by Shirley Jackson. The Haunting of Hill House was lots of fun last year, AND this is one of my friend Ann's favorite books. (Ann really is the authority on all things Halloween.) Just the title is creepy.  I just ordered it from hpb.com for $2. (Such is my lack of faith in the local libraries, and I couldn't find it at the bookstore closing sale, and I don't think Shirley Jackson needs my $11, since she died in 1965.)

The Turn of the Screw by Henry James. Seems like it's about time to read that one.

The Poe Shadow by Matthew Pearl (thanks, Ben!)

All Souls by Edith Wharton (thanks, Greg!) 

To Watch: 

Attack of the Puppet People on Instant (because seriously, it looks ridiculous) 

The Stand, which is very long, but highly recommended by my brother-in-law. It's on Instant Watch too, so I'm thinking about it. 

Dream House, coming out the end of this month. I love Rachel Weisz and Daniel Craig, and the concept looks potentially neat.  I'm kind of hoping it's going to be good.

The newer version of The Haunting, because I've heard it's not as good as the awesome original, but I still think it would be fun to see how it got ruined by our modern horror movie culture.

The Innocents, which is on its way here via Netflix. 

CONFESS!

• I confess that this week when my husband got his iPad, I knew that he was going to want to play with it, but was a little hurt when it was the first night in weeks that he was willing to stay up past 10. That's right. I'm jealous of the iPad.  
• I confess that the return of fall TV shows, particularly Parks and Recreation is ridiculously exciting to me, as is the fact that Cowboys and Aliens finally made it to the dollar theater. It's going to be a good night, even if I'm embarrassed by how much I love movies and TV (even ridiculous movies). 
• I confess that a library aide job just opened up in San Benito, and I'm hoping they'll consider me for it despite my Master's degree in Library Science. I confess that those were words I never thought I would say. 
• I confess that our hedgehog has been hopelessly neglected since we started going to bed early. We feed her and make sure she has water, but we haven't played with her much in weeks. This makes me sad, especially since she's probably turning feral right now. (In my defense, I would play with her during the day except she's NOCTURNAL and gets grumpy when I wake her up in the middle of her REM cycle.)
• I confess that while I miss fall weather, what I actually am missing the most is the ability to wear fall clothes. I hate summer clothes. I always feel better in layers and long sleeves, specifically in cardigans. This is why librarianship was such an obvious fit. 
• I confess that I've been working through my thank you notes for the wedding, and there are a couple I keep hesitating about because they're to people who have gotten married since I did, and I haven't sent them gifts yet. So embarrassing. My friends are much better friends than I am. 

Of love and iPads

Once upon a time, Eric really, really wanted an iPad.

That time was last year, when they first came out. He talked about it all the time. He was dying to have an iPad. On his phone, there is archived a list of things we wanted to do together for dates (although the list actually started before we officially started dating) and included movies to see, places to go, things to make, etc. One of the things on that list has always been, "Buy an iPad. Get the Starwalk App. Go stargazing."

Anyway, about the time Eric graduated, he actually went and bought an iPad. Gave them his money, bought a wireless keyboard. But the IU bookstore didn't have any in stock, so the idea was that they would hold one for him until it came in. And before it came in, he went back to the store and got his money back, because he was thinking that sometime in the near future he was going to buy this (and a million plane tickets to see me and to visit my parents to ask for my hand):

He picked it out all by himself. 

So a couple of months later he proposed, and after flying back and forth a few times, we got married, and now we're in Texas and he's working for TFA, and so far he still doesn't have an iPad. I even tried to get him to use some of our Target giftcard money from the wedding on one (because hey, once I had my Kitchenaid I didn't care that much) but he just kept telling me that he didn't need one - and then spent his nights looking at the app store.

But then this happened, and TFA told Eric that they were giving him an iPad to use in his classroom (the jury is still our on whether he gets to keep it after we leave TFA, but we think yes). And much rejoicing ensued. And then, we found out that 3 regions get the iPad 2, and the Rio Grande Valley is one of them. So as of Wednesday night, Eric gets his iPad (2!), for free, which I am choosing to believe is a sign that being frugal and financially responsible is a good thing, and we should continue paying off our student loans as fast as we possibly can. And I'm pretty much banking on the fact that I won't see my husband without the iPad in his had for a few months.

As long as Thursday night is Starwalk night, it's cool.

Before 9am this morning

My car was making a terrible noise as I drove out of the church parking lot after seminary. It was this weird scraping every time I turned right, and it was upsetting. I stopped at my mechanic's place on the way home (and by that I mean the place where I always get my oil changed, because they are nice) and after an hour in which they put the car up on lifts trying to figure out what horrible thing had happened, they found out that it was just some plastic in the wheel well that had apparently gotten pulled down and was rubbing. They tied it back out of the way and charged me $20. I could say I was annoyed at spending $20 on something I could have fixed myself, but I'm just grateful that it wasn't something serious.

Also happening as the sun rose:

• Discovered that somehow we got the wrong idea about how the seminary manual is organized, so we've been covering about 4 days of material in one day. Whoops. On the bright side, planning is going to be much easier from here on out, especially when we don't have to decide between teaching about the destruction Sodom and Gomorrah and teaching about Abraham and Isaac. On the less bright side . . . sorry for that stuff we skipped, kids. I guess we'll pepper it in here and there for the next few weeks - but we are caught up after starting a week late!  
• Felt the need to comment on the idiotic blog post about the division of Netflix's streaming and DVD subscriptions into two companies. Worst. Idea. Ever. 
• Made an effort to watch the first episode of Downton Abbey's second series before we're allowed to see it in the U.S. and almost subscribed to a cell phone coupon service that would have cost $10 a month. I am really not intelligent early in the morning. 

In other news, Eric and I are now back to having one calling apiece (or one calling that we're sharing between the two of us) after being released yesterday from our old jobs. We will miss them, but we've been going crazy trying to plan, go to sleep early, and wake up for seminary in addition to our other responsibilities, so it's a welcome change. Luckily, I got to stay in long enough for the Young Women pie-making seminar for the branch social this weekend, so I got to pass on the trick for making pie crust edges that I learned from MY Young Women president.  

Also, I finally saw the new Jane Eyre movie, and I think I liked it, although I thought they made some strange decisions about cuts. On the other hand, it's one of the few 2-hour versions that includes St. John Rivers effectively, so I suppose that was fun. Also, Michael Fassbender is reasonably good-looking as Rochester. (I'm pretty sure they had that scene where he's digging up the thorn bush just because manual labor in shirtsleeves is hot. It certainly wasn't serving the normal thorn tree spot in the story.) It didn't top the 2006 version, but let's be honest - no version ever will. 

“It’s just that everything was incredibly far away from me.”

We spent part of this morning watching old videos from 9/11 online. I can't believe it's been 10 years.

I was a sophomore in high school when it happened. Normally we wouldn't have had the TV on while I was getting ready for school, but one of my parents was having some minor medical procedure that day, so my dad hadn't gone to work and was watching the news in bed.

I remember being very confused about what was going on - all we knew was that a building in New York was burning - the World Trade Center, where we'd been just a couple of months before when we visited my brother, who lived about an hour away from the city. As we watched, the second plane crashed. It was crazy. Looking back, I can't believe I went to school after that, or that my parents went ahead and went to the doctor.

I remember that all day at school there was a division between teachers who let us watch the news all through class and teachers who thought we should keep our minds off it and work. I remember sitting with a group of relatively new friends and lunch and talking about what had happened and how we were supposed to feel. I remember that my brother knew several people who worked in the city or at the Trade Center. I think all of them were okay.

I remember that my mom had a new sweatshirt she'd just bought on our trip to New York. It had an outline of the skyline, including the twin towers. She had a hard time ever wearing it after that.

It's strange to think about that day now that it's colored by everything that came after - wars and airport security and Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close (an awesome book about a little boy whose father dies in the towers - the quote in the title comes from that). All I knew that day was that it would be something I would remember forever - the way my parents remember the moonwalk or the Kennedy assassination. There are some things that you just can't believe when they're happening, and then you never, ever forget.

The strangest thing that happened today was that a 12 year old boy asked me if I'd seen the news - all of the old 9/11 footage. I don't think he'd ever seen it before, and he was fascinated, because when it happened, he was 2.

I love confessing.

Well, on the bright side, Friday confessionals seem to get me to post on my blog at least once a week. (Also, I wrote some for Sisters-in-Long the other night, so I'm feeling good.)

• I confess that this week my husband and I made a second raid on the dying mall bookstore, and bought 4 books at 70% off. (If you're interested, they were Malcolm Gladwell's What the Dog Saw, Mary Roach's Spook, John Berendt's The City of Falling Angels, and John Vaillant's The Tiger. Yes, I loved In the Heart of the Sea so much that I was as excited as Eric about 4 more non-fiction books.) Our receipt actually said, "You saved 39.53." We also confessed to each other our sadness about Borders dying (even though this closing was the less awesome Waldenbooks), because we both used to go there and just browse the books when we were sad or frustrated in college. Clearly we really were meant for each other. 
• I confess that one of the high point of my week was finally discovering an NPR station in the Valley. So. Much. Happiness. I listened to StoryCorps on my way home from seminary this morning and just beamed. 
• I confess that after my confession last week about the book I couldn't get into, I finally got into it. I finished it yesterday, and it was actually pretty good. However, there are enough books on my shelf that I am dying to read right now that I don't think I'll be accepting any loaners for a couple of months. 
• I confess that I don't really love lasagna. However, I love this pretend lasagna.  
• I confess that yesterday I walked outside and thought, "Wow, it's downright pleasant outside!" And then I saw a bank sign while I was driving that said it was 95. I'm sticking to my theory that the lack of humidity yesterday made it feel cooler than it was. 
• I also confess that my husband has been stalking the National Weather Service hoping that a hurricane is going to come our way so he can get a day off school. I'm hoping it will hold off for another month in case the power goes out and we lose the AC. 
• I confess that I'm about to make a paper countdown chain for my parents' visit to South Texas, which is happening in less than a month. 
• I confess that before bed last night, I found out that Jude Law and Keira Knightly are going to star in a new movie version of Anna Karenina (thanks Julie!). And then I dreamed about meeting Count Vronsky, who looked like Jude Law (even though I found out later that he's actually playing Karenin. Oh well.)  (Also, just by the way, I looked at the article again, and Tom Stoppard is doing the screenplay! Now I really approve.) 
• I confess that this week I was trying to find something to watch while I did the dishes, and nothing with any actual merit looked appealing at all. (Oh, CW. It's a good thing your shows are starting up next week.) I realized that I really wanted some ridiculous high school drama (Buffy. Basically I wanted Buffy.), so I ended up watching a really stupid ABC Family show on Netflix. And I watched the entire season. Excuse me while I read Malcolm Gladwell and pretend that didn't just happen. (Does Malcolm Gladwell count as a writer that will restore some sense of my being a thinking person?)
• From ridiculous to sublime: I confess that even though I groan when the alarm goes off every single morning, I'm starting to love teaching early-morning seminary. It brings back good memories of my own, not-early-morning experience with seminary. This morning we watched a video that included text from this amazing talk by Jeffrey R. Holland, which intensified my love for Moses 1:13, and for Elder Holland.

Another round of confessions

I liked it enough before that I'm going to try it again. :)

I confess that I really look forward to watching Project Runway, despite the complete lack of psycho-crazy drama this year. It just makes me happy. I don't know when I became such a sucker for competition reality TV, but I love it. 

I confess that I've been waking up to teach early morning seminary since Wednesday, and so far it has meant I've spent at least a few hours afterward being very, very lazy. 

I confess that I got rejected for another job today, and every time I do it makes me wonder if it's worth it to keep applying for them, especially when I'm pretty sure that part of the problem this time was that they asked me how long I'd work for them and I had to say, "Until I leave in June." (Of course, it could have been my less-than-awesome phone interview. Sigh.) 

I confess that I purposely made my appointment to have my oil change for a little later in the morning so that I can take a tiny nap before I go and sit in their waiting room - mostly because I'm afraid I will fall asleep sitting there for an hour. 

I confess that I am incredibly grateful to be team teaching seminary, because I look at that room full of sleepy kids and am positive that their lack of response would make me self-conscious if I were the only teacher. As it is, once they look sleepy, Eric runs around the room to energize them and energizes me instead. 

I confess that I am a serial window shopper - and by window I mean browser window. I browse all kinds of websites and covet things all day (and usually leave the window open while I'm doing other things), and by the end of the day I convince myself I don't need it, even if it's half off and awesome. 

I confess that I was on a reading rampage, and then I started reading a book someone lent to me (because I'd had it for months and felt bad that I hadn't read it) and now I'm back to a snail's pace. I hope I become more invested soon.