Things I Thought Were a Big Deal But Aren't.

Today I was having a moment of crisis because CB is recovering from a cold, and somewhere in the process of comforting her through the cold, I let her get into some awesome habits that are making nap time kind of awful. (It doesn't help that she started sleeping longer chunks at night just before she got sick, which threw off her nap groove anyway.) Naps being awful means CB is crabby, which means I can't get anything done, which means I am crabby. Anyway, one of my newer than me at being a mom friends posted about her own moment of crisis yesterday, and I thought about all of the things that USED to be stressful and aren't now, so I thought I would write about those to help me feel better about this one and remind me that this too will pass, and all too soon she'll be all grown up and then I'll miss it.

• Breastfeeding. SO. AWFUL. For the first few weeks. CB wasn't bad at it, but it was just so stressful! But we fell into a rhythm, and CB got better at latching, and I stopped being sore, and now it's kind of wonderful. I'm no longer terrified that she'll have to eat while we're out and about, because it's not that big a deal to find a little corner and feed her. AND now she's much better at waiting for a little bit when she starts getting hungry. I don't have to worry about bringing bottles or formula, and now it seems like the easiest thing in the world, while I used to think, "HOW DOES ANYONE DO THIS FOR A MONTH, LET ALONE A YEAR??" So. That's nice. 
• Bedtime routines. I could not picture what this would look like for the life of me. For the first few weeks, she screamed in the evenings, and every night looked different, and I couldn't imagine that we would do nice things like read stories and cuddle before she went nicely off to sleep. And then one day when she was about 6 weeks old, she started fussing, so I took her to her room, put her in her pajamas, read her a story, fed her, and put her to bed, where she happily went to sleep. So the next night I did it again. And then again. And although she definitely still has some nights where she doesn't feel well or she's overtired (re: nap problems right now) or whatever and bedtime is a struggle again, but I was amazed at how organically everything happened after I'd stressed about not having a bedtime routine for weeks. 
• Taking CB to the grocery store. Oh where would I put her? What if she cried? How would I concentrate? What if she needed to eat? Turns out that at the moment at least, the grocery store is a fascinating place for little eyes, the carseat snaps into that little front part where little kids can sit, and it's fine. I'm more concerned about when she gets older and wants to grab everything.
• Staying alone with CB. Eric has been on 3 business trips since CB was born. I was horrified at the prospect, but with the exception of one or two nights when my patience wore a little thin, it was completely doable. I even had fun. (It probably helps that CB is a really good sleeper at night though.) 
• Shots. Baby tylenol, you are my friend. 
• Outings. I was so afraid she would cry or have a meltdown or something every time we went out anywhere.  And blowouts. So afraid of blowouts. But you know what? Generally, she likes being out. And if she doesn't . . . that's okay. It's not that big of a deal. We just go back home. And if you keep a change of clothes and a plastic bag in your diaper bag, blowouts are also okay.

So the things that are still stressful - the nap issue right now, making it through church, figuring out how to get everything done that I want to during the day - these things are a work in progress right now. I'm sure there will always be things that will be scary or nerve-wracking. But there will always always be things that stop being an issue and fade into the background of happier memories of every stage of her life so far. We are learning so much together, me about being a mom, her about being . . . a human? And we will be okay.