There are about eight story lines in that movie, but in one, the girl gets married and tries to do everything for her husband behind the scenes. They final start divorce negotiations after he asks her one night if she's happy because she won't offer an opinion about what to have for dinner, and he tells her that she's not the woman he married because she doesn't ever do anything for herself or speak up for herself or have any kind of personality. I don't know why I'm trying to explain that - here's a kind of bad quality clip of it so that you can be less confused.
In any case, it was some much needed food for thought.
Also, I'm about to hit my 300th post. Hopefully I can think of something good.
Anyway, her mother tells her a story and talks about how she's undervaluing herself, and when she confront her husband she says something like, "I'm the one who told you that my love was worth less than yours. I'm the one who did it. But it's not, and you're not taking my house. Get out of my house."(I wish I could find a clip of that part, but alas.) It's this really amazing moment in the movie, and it hit me really hard.
Can anyone else really diminish us? We are always the ones who undervalue ourselves. When I'm feeling bad about myself, it's inevitably because I've decided that there's something wrong with me, not because of what anyone else said or did. Other people can make a difference, but only if you value their opinion more than yours, right?
I guess we could take this one step further and pull out some eternal truths about divine nature - I know I'm doing it in my head, because the conclusion that comes from this train of thought is that I can't trust anyone's opinion of myself over my own opinion of myself, except that sometimes my perception is off, whereas if I add one more extension and say there is one opinion that I can value over my own, then it becomes a little more perfect in the idea department.
In any case, it was some much needed food for thought.
Also, I'm about to hit my 300th post. Hopefully I can think of something good.
4 comments:
300 posts! Very impressive--congratulations!
I am really glad you are thinking about this truth. I had a hard time valueing myself, judging myself, feeling less than others. Utah is so different than CA and I had a really hard time fitting in.
It was about 6 years ago I finally got OVER it, and let it all go. It is quite freeing! Good luck coming to this conclusion, and really believing it. The gospel really gives us the guidelines!
hey thats pretty amazing! It reminds me of a good friend of mine who I believe will one day snap but I love that, I'll have to check it out!
first of all, there was a Simpsons episode the other day where Amy Tan totally bags on Lisa for misinterpreting the meaning of The Joy Luck Club - she's all "UGH! That is just wrong! You totally missed the entire point!" So Lisa sits down all shunned and Homer starts looking around and scooting away from Lisa b/c he's all embarrassed to be sitting next to her.
I hope that description is accurate enough to convey the funniness of the situation.
Also - you are amazing. I'm not lying when I tell you that. Contrary to popular belief, I don't just throw things like that around. haha. I suck at doing this, but I try to pick something positive about myself when I'm in a funk. Sometimes it's as silly as, "at least my finger nails are clean!" but every little bit helps and sooner or later I stop being so hard on myself for whatever reason.
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