I was just reading my friend Amanda's blog (actually a blog from February, but she doesn't write very often, so I don't check very often) and she had this incredible post about feeling that she was destined to do something extraordinary with her life. It got me thinking about my own life and what I want to do, and so I'm going to ramble for a little while.Tonight I went to the first meeting of my brother's movie club. We plan to make short films once a month and see what we can accomplish. It was amazing to me how many people were there and ready to create. They had ideas they'd been saving for days or weeks or years, and they didn't just want to create any old ward talent show movie - they wanted to create something they could be proud of. Honestly, I never would have thought to start something like this, and I'm not sure I would have been as excited to join if it weren't for the fact that two of my brothers are also members and I'm looking forward to being a part of something with them (I never got to be on the softball teams). But I definitely started to catch the spirit. And really, shouldn't I be surprised that there aren't MORE people who want to do awesome creative things and take time out of the daily plodding on to do something better? I have a lot of respect for Clark for starting the club, which to him is another step toward fulfilling his dreams of writing screenplays and making movies.
I'm afraid that too often I settle for mediocre because it's easier than trying to create something better. I have really been struggling to write good papers this semester because I can get by with late night seat-of-my-pants writing, and I'm tired and sick of pouring out my heart and soul for a grade. At the same time, I am very passionate about the things I'm learning this semester (so much so that I'm probably driving everyone I know crazy talking about it all the time). Actually I'm passionate about a lot of things. I want to find ways to make all of those passions and opinions and enlightened (supposedly) thoughts count. I can't imagine that I can have been made for anything ordinary.
This is really cheesy and I'm not really saying what I want to say. I'm going to post it anyway. That's what the internet is all about, right?
2 comments:
I didn't think it was cheesy at all. You sort of summed up the whole idea behind movie club. Remember when I was talking about how I feel fulfilled when I create something and I said that even something as simple as a blog post could give me a sense of satisfaction? Then someone said, "You must live a pretty unfilling life then based on the amount of times you post on your blog." Everyone laughed, but in a way he hit the nail on the head. I often feel like I'm settling for a lot less than I should. It's so easy to go through life sticking with mediocrity. I think that's what Thoreau was talking about when he said, "The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation."
I've read so many books about goals and they all say you should share you goals with others because then you'll feel more motivated to acheive them. Well what better place to share them than on the Internet for the whole world to read?
That's another reason I started movie club, not only to share my goals with others, but to involve them in my goals directly. Even if I never write a book that gets published or a screenplay that makes it to the bigscreen, my life will still be way better because I'm doing something I love.
You both are making be get chills on my arms. How many times in my life have I felt exactly the same? Creating something; whether it be a film or a memory or a laugh or a piece of writing is hard to write about but easy to share. I know that doesn't make sense really but because everyone feels the same we dont have to describe it perfectly because our emotions or our memories make up the difference between our lacking words and the emotion that we are trying to share. The thing I love the most I think about your movie club is that its not just about making a movie you can be proud of. It seems as though its a club about making a movie that talks to individuals like yourself in a deep and profound way; connecting to them through the opportunity to experience something together. Thats enough.
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