It's funny how at the beginning of the summer, this day couldn't come fast enough. Now I question how smart it can be to do something that keeps making me burst into tears feel very nervous.
This is stupid, of course. I also cried when I moved to Provo the first time, and I remember being incredibly homesick, even with home only an hour away. Look how well that turned out.
But then, Provo wasn't that different from home, and I saw my parents every few weeks. Today was rough - saying goodbye to my brothers and my niece and nephews (just a couple today - said goodbye to Ty's boys and Kristie's kids on Wednesday, which wasn't as bad because the move was still safely five days away), thinking about not being able to come home for birthday dinners and other random dinners, no longer getting to work with Clark and drive with Spence . . . there's a lot more weight behind that than it seems like there should be.
How awesome is it that my mom ordered me an Indiana shirt? (P.S. Linda, my mom thought she got a picture of us, but didn't, so I'll probably need the one you took.)
Right after Spence left, he called back to say that Cooper said, "Have we said a prayer that Megan will be safe and won't be sad?" He also said he's really going to miss me, which gave me warm fuzzies. Cooper is a delightful kid and I love him, but he's sometimes a little aloof and not so cuddly, so it's hard to know how much he likes me. He didn't have any problem giving me a hug tonight though, so maybe he just acts tough.
My parents have been troopers this week. My mom has been fixing everything - repairing various things, washing things, thinking of things I wouldn't have thought of, shoving the clothes I folded into space bags and helping me squish them down while vacuuming out the air - while my dad has been checking out my car all week - tires, oil, fluids, windshield wipers, etc. They are so awesome and have made the whole process much easier. My car is packed, and I must say I'm pretty please about how much I got in there, and especially about the fact that we can see out the back window still. I have to put in a few more things in the morning after I get ready for the day and run one more load of wash, but I'm very nearly there.
Tomorrow will probably include some puttering around to see if I forgot anything, plus a quick trip to say goodbye to my sister-in-law and nephew who couldn't make it to dinner today because they were sick. My mom is going to get off work early so that we can go to lunch, and then Dad and I will leave sometime around 2:00 and drive to Laramie. (I'll be really glad to get more of Wyoming out of the way early.) I think we're going to try to jaunt down to I-70 after Wyoming in the hopes that going through Kansas City and St. Louis will be more exciting than going through Iowa and Nebraska. We'll see.
I keep reminding myself that I'm excited. I am, I am. I'll just be more excited once I get there and get settled and make friends and figure out the pattern of my new life.
By the way, I added another song to the playlist - "Details in the Fabric" by Jason Mraz.
calm down, deep breaths
and get yourself dressed instead
of runnin around and pullin on your threads and
breaking yourself up
if it's a broken part replace it
if it's a broken arm then brace it
if it's a broken heart then face it
and hold your own, know your name
go your own way
hold your own, know your name
and go your own way
and everything will be fine
hang on, help is on the way
stay strong, I'm doing everything
Everything will be fine
everything in no time at all
hearts will hold...
7 comments:
1. I love that Jason Mraz song
2. You're going to be wonderful—don't worry :)
I have a habit of saying "You're fine." I say it when the boys fall down (You're fine, shake it off) or when someone else trips or is worried about something. Sometimes I think it makes me sound mean and unsympathetic, but that is not the case...it helps. I say it to myself. Just keep telling yourself that you're fine and soon enough you will be.
also. I-70 is not more exciting, just different views of the same thing in my opinion. What is more exciting? getting the ride over with as fast as possible. take the shortest route and you will be happy forever and ever. :) that is my sage advice.
It's an adventure. I'm not sure I'd take I70 over I80, it seems silly to me. Iowa isn't so bad, as it has hills. Nebraska is boring, but you can cruise...
It's only a half hour difference and it will be another state to check off the list. It will be fine.
Hello! After lurking on your blog for months I feel compelled to comment.
I remember having the exact same feelings before I moved to Indiana. I'd lived away from home before (in Provo), but I'd had plenty of family there, which makes a huge difference. Indiana was so foreign and unfamiliar and I seriously thought I might just up and die from nerves when I moved there. But! It turned out so, so great, and seriously, the branch is *so* welcoming and you'll have tons of people to help you get settled in and adjusted. You're going to love it!
Not being there for the family stuff, all those things you mentioned--that sucks a lot. But living away from home is something everyone should do. Chances are you'll have to do it sometime later on in your life, and it's so much easier if you've done it before. Don't worry, you really will be fine.
Dear Megan,
You will one day look back on moving to Indiana as one of the best decisions of your life.
Sincerely,
Future Megan
P.S. This way I get to avoid zillions of notifications and heartily congratulate you. I'm genuinely happy for you.
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